Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Victory is Mine, Man

Tia Lilliana here.
It's only taken me two years, but I finally learned how to use the doggy door (sort of...and mi madre y padre have to be right there cheering me on).
I knew momma would not mind if I took her plastic card and got myself a cake to celebrate the occasion.

I got vanilla cake with light frosting because Paris' butt is getting kinda big. Anyway, I just wanted to celebrate my life a little. And what a perfect day to do it. Life's not been easy for me, man.
I was born in the beautiful city/state of Chihuahua many, many years ago. Times were hard growing up and me & my brother Kenny sold mi madre's postres on the side of the highway to help our parents make ends meet. We did such a good business and sold so many beet & rutabaga kolaches that there was enough money to send me to med school. It was hard I tell you. But I graduated in only 27 years. I was voted "mostly likely to grow excessive warts" by my classmates - boy they nailed that one!

Anyhoo after med school I met my 6th husband Hector and it was love at first growl. We got hitched the following May. We had many happy months together until I caught him with a cat and yes, I did spend a few years in prison because of what followed, but it taught me something. I can't remember what, but I'm sure it must've.

After I got out I went back to school to become a personal secretary. I landed a job as the executive admin assistant to the head of Chihuahua Motor Company (CMC). Well of course he fell hard for me and me for him. Remember the car that came out in the late 70's - El Bitcho -?
Well he named that after me! He was such a loving, kind man. He died 5 0r 6 years ago in a tragic accident (you probably remember seeing it on the news). He was driving his car when suddenly the engine fell out and he was hit by an oncoming 18 wheeler transporting Pepto-Bismol to the local WalMarts. We had such a hard time getting all the pink off of him.

I was so lonely I decided to adopt a family. I chose my present family because they are kind and loving people, with decent credit, and the best part is momma always leaves her purse where I can reach it. Life's pretty good now. I gotta go eat some cake

And wow them with my door opening snout.



NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...


No wonder Makhkie Poo is soooo - well - Makhkie!

Tank woo fur the chukhkles!


Peanut said...

Oh haha you crack us up.

Ruby Bleu said...

So you didn't get any cake? Oh no...

Happy April Fool's Tia Lilly,

Lots of licks, Ruby

Clover said...

Haha, you got me!! Hope you have a great day!
Love Clover xo
P.S. My blog is gone now, but I will be back soon, and I will let you know where to find me.

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

We love it. You got us.. hehe

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Anonymous said...

OH I loved it!!!!

Petra said...

Oh my goodness, you got me on that one! I was getting ready to extend my sympathies to you, Lilly Willy, and then I saw "Happy April Fool's Day"!

The cake isn't a joke, though, is it? It looks yummy and real to me!

Petra said...

Come on, tell me the cake is REAL!

Lacy said...

w00f's heehee ya gotted me too..

b safe,

Duke said...

You tell a heck of a story, Lilly! hehehe
Happy April fools day!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Mason Dixie said...

What a great April fool's story, I thought it seemed to surreal.


Wow, you got your cake and you got to eat it too!!!! Totally Pawsome.

Essex & Deacon

Joe Stains said...

death by bismol, thank dog that was a joke!! lol. thanks for the laugh Lilli

Lorenza said...

Lilly! Que historia!
I knew you had a rough life but not that rough! Glad it was a joke!
Enjoy your cake!
Kisses and hugs

Asta said...

Tia Lilly
You mean you don't kow how to use the doow? ow you do but thewe was no cake?
I'm suwe evewything else you said was totally twoo
Happy Apwil fools Day to all of you
smoochie kisses

Noah the Airedale said...

Noah: It's a joke Willow.....see its April fools.....

Willow: Oh yeah, ok I get it now.

Noah: sigh.....

Bae Bae said...

Aw.. so you doggies get the cake?? *confused*

~ Bae

Moco said...

Good job. Dawson forgets that he can go out the door sometimes. He has to be told that it is OK. Edgar the cat does a better job than he does going in and out.
We are so about the Pepto episode.

Simba and Jazzi said...

You got us lol.

Simba and Jazzi xx

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Yes they have their own language it goes like "ar ar ar" I can sneak up on them though!!

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Selba said...


It's our first time in here... uhmmmm... and we don't get it but it's a joke, right? *blur*

Adele, Vincent & Bella

i said...

LOL! This has got to be the April Fool's joke of the year!

Chips said...

Waaaah you got me!

Rudy said...

Whew what a good story even if it IS an April Fool's joke!